Be Happy Always I Love You All

Bloody connection for which you cannot cut it off...

2011-08-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

You know you will never be cruel to someone you loved,as whenever you tried to treat them bad,your heart will ache as well,maybe feels worse than the person you treated...

I tried to be bad to him,but i cried whenever i see his back,his lonely back...

Whenever i thought of him,my heart is in pain...

I know i can never throw him away from my life,as he is always a part of family...
Do you know the feeling of when you love someone,but they always disappoint you at times?
And do you know the feeling of being so helpless as you cannot do anything to help him?
I even do not know how to give him a moral support...
I feel so bad for him, as i can give so much energy to others yet i am in loss of words whenever i encounter him...
Why we are so much apart, when our blood is the most identical?

Why we are such a pity child?

When the door closes...

2010-12-27T01:54:00.000-08:00

Before saying your last farewell to me
Please stop for just a moment, and look at me while smiling

Stay for just a bit, you who had given me light to me
Even if it's the end, I don't want to show you my tears so

You~
(While putting on a smile for you)
I say thank you, for making these happy memories
(Shining with an awkward smile)
I'm sending you away like this but

When this door closes
When the image of you disappears
I'll probably spend the day in tears
Because of the memories with you, I'm left alone
I wish that you'll be happier

When I let go of this hand now
I'll no longer have any reason to smile but
When I see you smiling
In another's embrace, I'll try to smile

At the end of your long relationship with him
Please know that it'll be me standing there, waiting
Even if you ever get flashes of memories with him
I'll try to promise that I'll make you smile even more than those times but

You~
If you show me your tears
And say that it's difficult, because there is only farewell by that person's side
While I hold onto your hand, with a blank expression
I'm holding onto you like this but

When this door closes
When the image of you disappears
I'll probably spend the day in tears
Because of the memories with you, I'm left alone
I wish that you'll be happier

When I let go of this hand now
I'll no longer have any reason to smile but
When I see you smiling
In another's embrace, I'll try to smile

My heart has become weak
Before I can be with you again
So that you
Won't see me while my tears come out
Please don't look back and just go

When this door closes
When the image of you disappears
I'll probably spend the day in tears
Because of the memories with you, I'm left alone
I wish that you'll be happier

When I let go of this hand now
I'll no longer have any reason to smile but
When I see you smiling
In another's embrace, I'll try to smile

When this door closes

[FANCAM] BEAST (비스트) #79 Doo Joon @ Welcome to B2ST Airline Concert

2010-12-17T04:53:00.000-08:00

Lunch on Sunday 12/12/2010...

2010-12-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

Haha,suddenly this morning i have the mood to cook,donno why,i guess 1 of the reason is if i didnt cook,then i dont have my lunch as well as dinner,pity my stomach and i really dont want to eat Maggi mee almost every week,sucks even it do taste good,hehe...and easy to cook...well,get back to my lunch,damn i hate frying fish,i felt like i am having a war with the fishes and for sure they are the one who lose in the war la(since they are dead dy),but i felt pity for them because i did not take care of their body perfectly,haih...

My dear fried fish..

My overcooked telur dadar,haha...hey,i like it overcooked mar...

[091029] MAYBEE volume up RADIO BEAST/B2ST - GOOD MAN

2010-12-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

Can I make it on time to get my passport ready before 3rd Dec?

2010-11-22T06:27:00.000-08:00

Huhu...i am so damn sad i havent get my passport,making me feel so scared i wont get it ready before 3rd December,some more some said i have to get my birth certificate ready,damn it,my birth cert is in Kelantan, instead of KL,why i am so damn bad luck,tomorrow gonna call the Jabatan Imigresen to confirm it,God,please give mercy,hopefully MyKad is more than enough for my passport,haih......

Its 12th of September.......

2010-09-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

I wanna remember today because 13th September will be another turning point of my life,i will have my first permanent job tomorrow. Tell ya,i am so damn nervous actually,really nervous,its been awhile since i ever wake up so early in the morning and going to office,that was the story of about three months ago,hehe...Its been 3 months since i ever goyang kaki at my home,doing nothing beneficial except gaining weight and increase my fat belly,well,its not something i should proud of anyway,ahaha...I know i know... Well, i really wanna thank my searching job agent as well as the hiring officer and the senior accountant of MFM for giving me chance to join the company,i do hope i will do well... God,please do bless me,i am looking forward for good working environment as well as working team...

Two Reasons Marriages Fail..

2010-08-11T00:28:00.000-07:00

Men and women enter marriage with *storybook* expectations and limited training.
Men and women lack understanding about the general differences between men and women.

I Wanna Go Out from Malaysia!!!

2010-08-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

How i wish it could happen,it needs more than just courage and the biggest problem would be MONEY,haha.. Thats all i can think of now,so i want to earn money,a lot a lot of money so that i can afford my trip. Is there any kind of job which can give me chances to fly and travel around the world without really spending a lot of my own self earned money?I was looking at my friend pics in facebook,she studied abroad for the past few years and for sure she went all around UK already,it seems like I was stucked in my own little world of KL, maybe for the rest of my life,I dont want..I mean I am proud to be Malaysian,i do,i always do,here is the most beautiful place i ever seen even i never leave here.. But i really want to see more,want to learn more about other culture..People say when you learn more,you will love more about your culture because you will see how different we are and how special we are..Venice Italy is one of the place i really want to go and i promised my mum that i will bring her there,Mum,wish me luck,i will try my best to bring you there with all the efforts i can give...

How is it possible boy looks better than girl?? so unfair...

2010-08-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

DNA Karam

I get my first job today!!!

2010-08-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Its just like u get a lottery,I think its more than that. It really sounds like a victory, means i succeed in my interview and guess what,I din even do well in the interview coz it is so so last minute and I dont really well prepared for it, but still i got the job, so i guess i should give it a try, shdnt i?Haih...I am still thinking about the transport problem, I should have known it will be a troublesome before i go for it. But who knows they will really hire me, i thought i went for fun only at first. I guess its just a destiny, should i give it a shot? Still i am so proud of myself,haha...I thought i never get the job, well, as referred to my result, i am so damn sure i wont get it, I think they really dont have candidates and they damnly need employee,so here i come...hehe..What a lucky day for me and a lucky me...

告白。。

2010-07-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

告白。。
喜欢是把对方当朋友
爱是想和对方谈恋爱
所以是的
我喜欢你也爱你

把握的爱。。

2010-07-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

不是我的型。。
他不是我交往过的男友里面最帅的，最绅士的，最特别的，
而且他的肩膀甚至有点窄，你知道我向来偏好宽肩膀的人。
可是我发现和他在一起的时候总是笑着的。
他的缺点我可以说上三天两夜也说不完，可是你知道最好玩的是什么吗？
当我数落着他的这些那些是，口吻也都还是笑着的。
我才不管那些女性杂志那些两性书籍怎么说怎么数怎么分类好男人坏男人的，
全部滚开别烦我，我只知道当我想起这个人，他的好他的坏，
我的心情都是甜的，我的表情都是笑的，那么他就是我的对的人。
所谓完美的恋人并不存在，完美的只是想要和对方一直走下去的那份坚定而已。
所以如果你遇到了那个对的人，请为她坚定，请不要胆怯，
是因为人生没有办法重来，也是因为，
在爱情里，很多人很多事很多珍贵，错过了就是错过了。
所以，为什么不把握？

喜欢与爱。。

2010-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

喜欢和爱要怎么分辨？
简单，喜欢是友情，爱则是爱情。
喜欢有可能变成爱吗？
那爱变成喜欢呢？
两者有可能同时并存吗？
那对方肯定是你错过不行的人。。

Memory of Kim Hwansung (NRG)

2010-06-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

ANTONIO (A LETTER SENT TO HEAVEN)

Hello, This is Hwansung (Antonio).
Because it's been so hot lately it's hard to study isn't it?
Following today I really really want to see the ocean.
I haven't seen the ocean very much in my life,
however every time I go and everytime I see it, it's just a feeling,
but I think it's really god.
I don't envy the people who live by the ocean very much,
Because its so close, you can't feel the specialness of it,
because you see the ocean everyday.
No matter how special it is, if its close you can't
feel the specialness very well.
Everyone, look around you one time.
And today, how does saying, "I love you" to the people that
you love the most, sound?

At that very moment I could sense that we were separating.
At this moment with tears I cannot cope with,
I'm letting you go within these past 2 hours.
I wasn't ready to let you go and to me

Your sunny smiling appearance was cute and funny.
But starting now there's a sadness I cannot see.
That's everyone's pain. The past happy joy.
Now your white face that I can't see and
Now your white fingers that I can't see
are left in a single flower nestled with spirit.
(Right now you're by my side)

For you I'm going to protect the dreams that we cherished.
Do you still not know? That we're by your side?
I can't touch you, but we can feel you.
Now I won't cry. Even in the next world,
You have to be happy, Antonio.

Don't be lonely, don't even be sad.
With the sky in between us, we're living separately
but I know that we're breathing the same air.
So I'm not going to be sad anymore.
Because even though we can't see you, you're always by our side.

Now your sunny smile that I can't see again and although
your clear eyes are sleeping comfortablely In the clouds
(you have to wake up again)

For you I'm going to protect the dreams that we cherished.
For you I'm going to protect the dreams taht we cherished.
Even if we've separated we can meet.
Now I won't cry. Even in the next world,
You have to be happy, Antonio.

GOODBYE MY FRIEND

Remember how we used to promise that we would always be together?
Did you have to leave just like that?
We comforted each other even though we didn't want to believe, I want to part with longing
I love you, your pretty smile, our precious past,
beautiful memories, all left in me
I will fill my tears in your name, which spells out eternity. I'll be sad just for today.
I won't cry anymore.
Goodbye My Friend,
I'll never hurt you again, I'll part with you smiling
Goodbye My Friend
Please be my light,
please become a shining star forever and stay by me.
Goodbye My Friend

I gazed at you.
A long time, for a very long time,
I stood alone by your side.
Right now, are we really getting farther and farther away? But I won't be sad, we'll be forever.
Please come to me even now, if I can feel your warm touch

Pray you can smile, pray you won't cry,
pray that you'll always be inside my heart forever
I love you, our fine friendship, your warm touch,
only keep those happy memories inside of you.
I'll fill my last prayer inside your figure that says goodbye,
I'll be sad for just today, now I don't cry anymore.

I know, even though you've closed your eyes beside me,
you're breathing inside of me.

I now leave my last in your soul, here,
I send my heart that's far away.
When the hurting wind blows, when sad leaves fall,
be by my side so that I won't forget you, My Friend
Right now in front of you, I'm writing a letter to the sky. Until the day that we can be together comes
I'll always send you a letter from my heart.
We'll always be by your side.
Goodbye My Friend.

p/s : these two songs were written by Myung Hoon NRG as a tribute to the late member of NRG, Kim Hwansung who passed away caused by pneumonia on 15th June 2000. It has been 10 years past and it was my first time to know it. I never go after Kpop news until lately and its really trembled my heart because he died only at 19years old..19 years old is only the beginning of our life,right? He will never thought 19 will be the end of his life i guess..I dont know him,but i felt sad for him,for his family and to NRG members..Losing a person you love is a pain, losing someone you love at a young age is more pain,somemore it is sudden death.. Watching the funeral made me cried all night long..From the lyrics,you can see how much his friend loved him..Kim Hwansung,can you feel it?

No matter where are you now, we wish you to be happy forever..May you rest in peace...

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Also to my late great grandmas, late granddads, granddad, tiu kong Thong, kong Gi and other elders...May you guys rest in peace...

Buddhism...

2010-06-22T08:01:00.001-07:00

“Having experienced birth, you also have to experience death, whereas, if nothing gets born, there is nothing to die. This is the way things are”

12种方法知道你喜欢那个人

2010-06-22T07:58:00.001-07:00

12
晚上你跟他聊天后。。
直到睡前依然想念他

11
当你和他一起时。。
脚步会显得特别慢

10
你面对他时。。
会觉得很不好意思

9
当你听到他的声音时。。
你自然会笑

8
当然。。看到他。。
你会无视别人的存在

6
他是你的全部

5
当你看见他时一定会笑

4
为了见他，你会做任何事

3
当你读这帖子的时候，你想着谁呢？

2
当你一边往下读一边想他时。。
你可能甚至没发觉少了7

1
你现在会去看7的存在。。
然后傻笑

现在许个愿吧
你应该知道谁是你的唯一了吧

差一点

2010-06-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

遇上了错的人渐渐的吻在她无心的嘴唇
感觉像一个旅程走完了就分
错过了对的人,决定就只在那一秒那一分
爱情的岔口,你是我等不到的路人
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分
错过了对的人
决定就只在那一秒那一分
如果没缘分
我也会固执的为你一人
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些就和你共度一生
因为对的时间对的人
就值得我为你奋不顾身
差一点你就是我的女人
差一些手牵手的完整
却在对的时间错过对的人
抓不住幸福时分

~ 对的时间错的人，还是错的时间对的人？两个人相遇是一种缘分，

在一起又是另一个阶段，分手呢？对我来讲，那只是一个人长大的过程。。。

他到底是不是对的人？有谁可以确定呢？没人。。。

因为你只能用心去感觉他。。

My 2nd last day of practicum...

2010-06-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

I am glad God made me destined to be in tax department, time passed so fast, now i will finish my 6 months practicum within 24 hours from now.. If you ask the feeling of mine now, i will say excited plus sad... I am happy i dont need to wait up at 6.30am to go to work already, but i will miss every colleague in Hals & Associates, will damnly miss them, they are a part of my life in the past 6 months, in the future, there will be not much time to see them as often as previous days, haih...I will miss you guys a lot, i do, i always will do.. Thanks for all the days and beautiful moments as well as for all the help you guys gave to me...It did meant a lot to me...To my manager, my supervisor, my seniors and colleagues, thanks for everything...

May God bless you all in every moment of your life...

Love ya...

Its hard to be a mum...

2010-06-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

I watched a Korean drama this evening after work, damn sad...The story was like, the daughter and her husband lied to her family as well as the husband family that she got pregnant so that they can get married. Unfortunately, the in laws knew the truth that she wasnt pregnant for real, so the mother in law chased her out from the house.. For your information, the mother in law hated the girl so much even before they get married... For a mum who is as great as her mum, when the girl tell her mum that she will die if she cant be with her husband, mum really is willing to do anything including pay off her pride because she didnt raise her daughter to see her daughter died for a guy... So she went to see the in laws and even kneel down on her foot so that the in laws will forgive her daughter, thats what a mum will do, thats what your mum is willing to do coz she loves you more than her pride, more than her life...

A woman called mum is the greatest people in this world, she carried you for more than 9 months, giving her life away just to raise you up, hurts more when you are injured... To guys, you should appreciate woman who is willing to give birth to your kids because its not easy for girls to carry baby and take those responsible as mum...

Mum...i still love you so...My mum and another Mum who is watching me from the sky, who is always blessing me all this time eventhough i always being a bad girl, it tears me when i thought of all my wrongdoings which i cant get over till now..I am so sorry Mums...

God bless you!!!

29th Wedding Part 2...

2010-05-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

Continued from the previous post: hehe...

I guess the most touching part from a wedding was to see the bride cried, God damn it, making me cried also when i saw her reddish eyes..Its tearing me a lot when they mentioned about she will JIA out, even it was only less than half hours journey from her house, but the feeling of you are leaving your house which you had been leaving for more than 20 years, Omo..i also cannot imagine how bad i will cry if i am to get married one day, i guess thats the reason i hope i am just married to a guy from Kelantan, i think thats more than enough for me, i cant bear leaving my mum and stay away from her on Chinese New Year,huhu...

To my senior aka colleague Wah Ce:

~ I wish you and your hubby will live happily ever after...

~ To God I pray, may your marriage be blessed till the end of time...

~ Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

29th Wedding...

2010-05-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Actually it is really my first time to see a Chinese traditional wedding from other place other than my hometown, Kelantan...Therefore, there are a lot to be learnt from here,i guess thats what i see from my colleague wedding on last Saturday..I just get to know that my colleague is Hakka, not Hokkien as mine, not even Cantonese as i may understand their language a little bit, at least better than Hakka which i dont even know one word of it..The night before the wedding, there is a combing hair ceremony. As they said, it should be the groom having the ceremony first, following by the bride right after the groom finished. The ceremony will be held by the elders in the family, most of the time, i think it should be the parents to do it, but in my colleague case, she said its her jiu mu will do it because her parents dono how to say the speech..The speech that i mean is some meaningful speech for the bride happiness and to bless the marriage, i think its something like that la in my definition,haha... Guess what, its totally different from my hometown tradition.. We normally having the comb hair ceremony in the morning, if not mistaken is about 5am in the morning and it is done by anyone who was born in Dragon year, i still remembered for my uncle wedding, we had my little niece who was aged about 8-10 years old that year to comb his hair.. So funny, she was not tall enough to touch my uncle hair so her mum need to carry her up...

That night, i sleep at 2am something because i need to do my part as the ji mui, i never thought there are a lot to be done, but i think other families sure will had more than us, hehe..i still think that our games are simple only... The most cannot tahan part was when i was helping Chia to write and draw on those disposable panties, it was damn embarassing for us, huhu... and yet i cannot tahan with my colleague sister, she was the one who bought the panties and all of them are sized M? God knows how guy can wear a M size with their slacks inside? and thats what happen the next day during the wedding, beh tahan her, she said tight is good, haha...

The next morning, on the wedding day, i was awake at 7 something and saw the bride already taking her shower, for your information, i was sleeping beside the bride on her last night before she gets married, haha..
What a lucky me, hehe, joking...Wah Ko please dont kill me, huhu... We had our last preparation for the game and get dressed... Tell you lar, the bride very beautiful, making me feel like i wanna get married also, haih..i wish... 9.30am plus, the groom reached with the heng tai... The first game we played are just the pumping exercise.. Singing plus pumping, haha... Having great juices and food after that, i think all are not tough enough, what to do, we cant have their stomach get sick, haha..but the maggi plus strawberry yogurt is quite disgusting, seeing how it looks also i cannot dare to eat, yakkss...

Next is the Q & A session, 6 questions with 5 seconds of time to answer, well, we just want to punish the heng tai, who cares if the groom gives the right answer at the right time? The punishment was makeover and model for the day, this section was what we had contributed for the night before, the disposable panties with cartoons and word on it.. and it was proved that the panties really cannot fir on them, they were so embarrased to wear, can see from ther hesitance which takes quite a long time before they wear it, haha... and they directly just sat on the chair after wearing them, too paiseh i guess...Some still very bad luck when he also need to put on lipstick, to have nicer shot,we get them a superb red colour or lipstick, for a nicer effects for sure, haha...

After that, just the game of eating grapes and so on...Then the traditional ceremony start, well, not forget to mention the MEI PO for the wedding, her voice was so loud to be heard from a far distance, haha... I was told that the groom dad just passed away last year, actually for a Chinese tradition, we are not supposed to have a wedding for a period of three years, but then they had this ceremony whereby both the bride and groom will do 3 circles in front of the house..They said for the spirit to come back to home,i guess...

You are the only one i need...

2010-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

I wish...

I do wish...

I really wish...

Will it happen?

Haha...

Colleague wedding...

2010-05-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Omo...this saturday is the wedding day for my colleague,i wonder how she feels now..anyway i am nervous too because it will be the first time me and Chia will become the ji mui for a wedding,huhu,never do it before but i hope it will be fun...

See my ji mui dress with white theme colour :

How was it?How was it?

So damn cute...

2010-05-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

Currently i watched a korean drama in KBS World with the title of Happiness in The Wind...Oh my God,the main actor so cute,i mean cute not for his appearance but for his character.You can say his character look exactly like Dao Ming Shi in Meteor Garden,the way he expresses love is extraordinary,which he didnt said it directly,i think that was his special personality...He was like very something,chinese said 别扭...like idiot...but still so cute...

His line was like the following :

~ When she said she went out to meet someone,he asked : what?who u meet?Is it Gicheol?(Gicheol is another guy who adores the girl also)*sounds so jealous*

~ I dont want you to talk with other guy...aniya...dont even see them...

~ I mean i dont want you to see other guy except me...

~ *soaking throat* I had make myself clear,now its up to you to make the decision...

~ *soaking throat again and now looking at the sky* ah...the weather today so good...*and turn himself away leaving the girl in shock*

Well...Korean guy always so romantic in line,i wonder if they really that romantic in real...Ahh...I wish someone will talk to me like that too,at least i know he really cares about me since he sounds so jealous...hahaha...

Having crush...Good?Not Good?

2010-05-11T06:18:00.000-07:00

What will happen when the person you had a crush with suddenly talked to you?Hahaha...when i said happiness should be something that you grab for yourself,its suppose to mean that its fine if girl takes the first move right?

hehe...i do hope i have those courage to take the first move...It was like you are looking at a guy,some one you never know but you saw him almost everyday in the bus and you had crush on him...What should you do?He is not a friend,he is a stranger but you really wanna get to know him,how to approach him? It was like in heaven when you just get to stay so close to him and even get the chance to hear a word from him, even it was just a ...

Haha,its interesting just to think about it...and you know what,he is not as tall as you see him from afar away, thats what i experienced...

Happy Mother's Day...

2010-05-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

Mother...Who is a mother for you?Have you ever thought how you value her in your life?People said if you are a daughter,you will only realize how hard to be a mother when you have your own kids,i guess its the same for a son...

Do you still remember when you are first born to this world?Hehe,i guess no one will remember that moment anyways,haha...But i do hope you will have the chance to understand the feeling of your mother when she first gave birth to each of you,giving birth to a baby is not easy(as experienced people said so),its harder when raising them to be as grown ups as us today...How much tears,how much sweats,how much money,how much energy? I guess it was countless...Maybe raising up a kid needs more than establish a company...

Remember when you are small,who will always be there to teach you how to walk,how to speak,how to eat, how to read?Remember when you are sick,who are the one who hurts more than you?Who be there to take care of you?I always will remember and miss my mum the most when i was sick,because i know she will always be here for me and i will be fine...There are times when you cannot accept the decision of mum and you tried to spoke against her...I had my 叛逆 period during my secondary school when i spoke against my mum and i ended up slammed the door to express my objection...Its just the way i showed my madness,but then i felt regret and i end up writing an apology letter to her(i had those paiseh feeling to say sorry in person)..

I always wrote apology letter during those times whenever i did wrong...

There are times you should learn to understand your mum,i wont say she always right,but talking against her in loud voice is not a right suggestion to express your objection...As people said,think before you speak...When parents get older,they will become more sensitive than in their young age,they will start to think that maybe they will become your burden,they will scare that one day maybe you dont want them already,they will scare that if you get married,will you ignore them and become others son/daughter?they will worry that you wont love them anymore as you have your own spouse to love and new life...Because for each parents,children are the most precious treasure they had,no money or anything valuable in life will value more than their children...

I always proud to have my mum...Mum,to God i pray,hoping you will always stay healthy,stay happy...I promise you,i will be a good daughter for you...Mama,i love you so much...and sorry for all my wrongdoings for you...Happy Mothers Day!!!

Arggghhhh...

2010-05-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

Damn it,so stressed out,my handphone,whua....two right button cannot use,huhu...now i dont know what to do,i guess i need to send to servis already,hai...so pity my handphone,i am so sorry i never take good care of you,i always so damn careless while using you,i am worse than worse...

Lately felt so bad,i see no good thing happening at all and i damly miss my mum...Lately so tired with life...Lately see bad side of myself,i see myself ugly,my heart is ugly...I...I...I...I sometimes hated myself for being so,I dont want myself to be like this...I wanna cry for the life i had...

Labor Day Holiday...

2010-04-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

Damn it Labor Day is on Saturday,means no holiday for today and no replacement of holiday also,huhu...My first time as a labor,first time contribute to the KDNK of Malaysia ( hmnnn...i wonder how many decimal places of points the represents the percentage of my contribution,wuahaha) and yet i dont get special holiday for it,whua...

No plans for Labor Day,well,i should say i am too lazy,damn lazy to go anywhere even i can go..The whole week of five days in work i have kept thinking of i wanna spend my two dys of weekend at home and sleep sleep sleep.So as the result,i say no to Chia sister invitation to her birthday party(even i damnly wanna eat sate kajang and birthday cake for sure),Happy Birthday Ee Cien,hope you will be happy always,young always and may God bless you so..I even say no to my cousin who asked me to join her in Port Dickson....Hoho,can you imagine how lazy i am?So i end up blogging at home with my eldest brother sleeping in the living room and second brother is cooking in the kitchen,hahaha...

Before i forgot,today also is my eldest uncle birthday,hehe...Hope he always stay healthy and young,hahaha...

God bless you Tua Ku...

Actually i really wanna go watch IP MAN II,but i cannot find anyone interested to accompany me to watch the movie,haih...damnly sad,ehmm....should i go watch it alone?well,Midvalley is so close to where i stay,haha...but watching movie alone will make me looking like a loner,i looked more pathetic by then,haih...

hish,nevermind la,as my friend said : buy cd and watch at home enough lar,hehe...by doing so,you can save up to Rm10 plus,k?a movie ticket cost you about Rm12-14,havent count a combo of popcorn and drinks,or just buy a dvd at only RM5 and you can have whatsoever food you want,nasi lemak,mee goreng,mee maggi,bla bla...and you may crawling on the sofa,on the couch,hugging your bantal busuk with whatsoever pose you ever wanted which you cannot do in cinema for sure,haha...Haha,so choose?

My final result?Stay home online via blogging,thats what i do now,kia kia kia...nevermind,i have my Shinhwa in Love Letter at 5pm later...miss Eric...

Sunflower...

2010-03-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

i’ll wait. i’ll be here. because you’re my last love
don’t forget, even if years later, you come to me, i won’t let you go
i only know of this love, i don’t know of any other
i’m a fool who only looks at you

no matter who i talk to, i only hear, see you.
i don’t know how to smile, how to forget.
i’m a fool who only knows of you
we loved so much, we really loved each other
if you leave, what should i do?

i’ll wait. i’ll be here. because you’re my last love
don’t forget, even if years later, you come to me, i won’t let you go
because i can’t die, i’m living. i’m living without you
it hurts as if i can’t breathe
someone told me that that’s how you live.
why are you making me suffer

i’ll wait. i’ll be here. because you’re my last love
don’t forget, even if years later, you come to me, i won’t let you go

it wasn’t easy to turn around
because i wouldn’t ever see you again
because memories flashed across my eyes
although my tears are welling up, i try to grab on
it needs to end now, love between us
the unforgettable memories that still live in me
although i can’t stand the pain in my heart
i’m sorry, that’s the only thing i could say

come back to me, my love, i’m calling for you breathlessly
the word i want to say to you: i love you, can you hear me
i love you, although you’re leaving me, you’re still my last love
i don’t care about others, i only need you, i won’t let you go.

p/s : currently is my favourite song from Gavy NJ titled Sunflower...you can watch the video from this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZo5e9wuObk

Why guy always think they are smart enough to understand girl?

2010-03-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

I watched a Korean drama currently which aired in KBS world, titled Dalja's Spring. The drama is about the noona-dongseng relationship,means young guy couple with older girl. At the time being,i was so much falling in love with the guy till i felt like i wanna order one of him for me,haha...but then we all realized perfect guy like him will never exist in this world. It happened that perfect guy also will never be perfect forever,i mean no one is perfect in this world,right?So even the guy...He made 2 mistakes that guy will always do:

Girls so mind if guys take or consider them whether intentionally or accidentally as ju wai ren,means outsiders..Think of it,after what we had been through together,at the end,i just realized that i am actually just an outsider in your life and i cant even get into your family,your life?

Girls so mind if guys hide something about the past(ex gf) from her..try to ask,how many girls would not like to know about the ex gf of her bf?i doubt not even 10% of girls in this world will not mind. I mean we do have the curiosity to know about the past of each other,right?The worse is when guy gets to work in the same place with his ex and he never tell you that as he thinks that since its just colleague-colleague relationship,so it is not matter to tell you...They are over smart right?

When they do wrong,they will say sorry,asking you to try to understand their stand now,but then do they really know what you want?Sometimes they just think of themselves,think of what is the best for me,not for us...Sometimes they just neglect to say I LOVE YOU,as they think that their action is more than enough to show their love..Yea,for guy to say those three words everyday can be a boring thing,but for those who never say,please do so,sometimes girls do need those words as the security of your love to her...

If any dissatisfaction happened between you and him,better talk it off and not just stay away from the problem by saying that what passed is passed,no need to talk over it again...Yea,it passed now but it didnt mean that the same problem will never happen again,its getting worse if you guys fight over the same problem over and over again and it will never end because you guys never settle it..Relationship is about sharing the happiness and sadness,about sharing the laughters and tears,about sharing the hardness and easiness in my life..When you mention WE or US,there are two alphabets there,means you need to have two people working on it..In some cases,you must tell your the other half about what you are thinking of coz you guys are separate bodies,he wont know what your thinking and you dont know whats his thinking...its important to tell each other what you want instead of just hoping he will understand you,bcz guy and girl are born to be different and have different thoughts...

Getting married is another stage of one life...Sometimes even when you coupled for more than 5 years and you decided to get married,you still end up by getting divorced in within 5 months,its pretty hard for two people living together...Maybe you should think about what you both want and then get to accept each other thoughts...Marriage should be about living happily ever after and not about getting a widow status...

Its good to have a mum at home...

2010-03-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

Its school holiday,so i have my mum in town with us,huhu...really miss her so much,miss her cook,miss her everything..Do you love your mum?I am sure all of you love your mum so much..As for me,mum is my everything cz i do not have dad,i mean i do have dad,but since they divorced,i felt like i never really have a dad. Dad just a stranger noun for me,like no one,but he is somebody..A dad suppose to be a hero,the first hero in a daughter heart,but not for me..Well,i have to admit,i miss a dad...I should be glad that i knew who is my dad, better than others who never felt to know their dad,but human never know how to be satisfied,right?

I LOVE YOU,MUM...Thanks for all the love and care...thanks for brought me up...thanks for being there for me all the time...thanks for giving birth to me...I promise you i will be your nice little girl forever...

Chinese New Year is coming to town....hehehe...

2010-02-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

hehe,learn posing lol

lCountdown to Chinese New Year,still have 4 more days to go,i miss my hometown actually,huhu...This year 1st day of Chnese New Year is exactly on Valentines Day,thank God no need fan how to celebrate it,hehe,this year still a single lonely Valentine,but then i am still so happy with it,long lived Single,hehe..

Without Saying...

2010-01-14T05:00:00.000-08:00

i should have done that. i should have ignored it.
like something i couldn't see
i shouldn't look at you at all
i should have run away. i should have acted like i didn't hear it.
like something i couldn't hear.
I shouldn't have listened to love at all

without a word , you let me know love. without a word, you give me love.
you made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this
without a word, love leaves me. without a word, love tossed me away.
what should I say next ? my closed lips were surprised on their own
coming without any words

why does it hurts so much ? why does it hurts continuously ?

except for the fact that i can't see you anymore. and that you are not here anymore.
otherwise, it's the same as before.

without a word , you let me know love. without a word, you give me love.
you made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this
without a word, love leaves me. without a word, love tossed me away.
what should I say next ? my closed lips were surprised on their own
without a word, tears fall. without a word, my heart breaks down.

without a word, i waited for love. without a word, love hurts me.
I zone out. I become a fool because i cry looking at the sky.
without a word, firewell finds me. without a word, the end comes to me.
i think my heart was surprise to send you away without any preperations.
it came without a word.

without a word, it comes and leave.
like the fever before, maybe all i need to do is hurt for a while.

Will You Marry Me?

2010-01-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

Will you marry me?

Will you live forever with me?

Whilst loving each other

I want to have a child that looks like me, another one that looks like you

And live, unhurt, for 1000, or 10000 years

To be honest with you, I like you more than you like me

And people say thats better between a man and a woman

I’ll love you more. I’ll take care of you

If you cry, if you’re having a hard time, if you’re hurt, I’ll hurt with you

I’ll love you forever, I’ll protect you forever

I’m thankful that I’ve met someone like you

I want to love only you everyday

Will you marry me

Marry me, there’s a feeling of happiness everyday

And I look forward to tomorrow with you

Why am I nervous

You are the best, no matter how much I look at you

Until our black hair becomes white

Until our lives end

Even if I put water to your hands, I won’t put tears in your eyes

You as my half, I as your half

I’ll love you as long as I breathe

When time goes by and we get wrinkles

You and I will be together like now

I’ll love you more. I’ll take care of you

If you cry, if you’re having a hard time, if you’re hurt, I’ll hurt with you

I’ll love you forever, I’ll protect you forever

I’m thankful that I’ve met someone like you

I want to love only you everyday

You’re like the light which lightened up my dark life

The sound of soup boiling greeting me

The rain that falls on my thirsty heart

The poem that contains the meaning of love

The string of destiny that the heavens have allowed

The meeting between you and I was meant to be

You’ll be irreplaceable even if I was given the whole world

You’ll be the only person in my life forever

If you cry, if you’re having a hard time, if you’re hurt, I’ll hurt with you

I’ll love you more. I’ll take care of you

I’ll love you forever, I’ll protect you forever

I’m thankful that I’ve met someone like you I want to love only you everyday

Will you marry me?

P/S:I wish there is people somewhere out there will say these to me,huhu...

I will marry you...

You and I...

2010-01-12T04:50:00.000-08:00

No matter what happens
Even when the sky is falling down
I’ll promise you
That I’ll never let you go

You, When I fell
you held me back up with an unfaltering gaze

And You, through those sad times
held my hands till the end of the world

I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you
But today, I am singing this song just for you
Tonight, within those two eyes and a smile
I can see the pains from protecting me
You and I together. It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Our love has changed a bit by bit just like others
But don’t be sad
Hopefully I will be someone who you can trust like an old friend
and someone you can lean onto
I promise you that I’m be right here baby

I close my eyes lightly whenever I feel lonely again
I no longer fear when your breath holds me
No one in the world can replace you
You are the only one in I’ll be there for you baby

You and I together, It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Just you and I
Forever and ever..

2010...Happy New Year...

2010-01-03T06:05:00.000-08:00

2010,what it meant for all of you?what are you asking for in this new year?better health?better wealth?better life?i think thats what people will ask for,a better life,a better year of 2010 compared to 2009..I wish we all will have a better life this year,God bless we all...

For the first time in my life,after 22 years,i went for a new year countdown in Sg Wang Plaza,wow...so happening...but cant really seee Bosco Wong as i wish,argghhh...its ok, the fireworks still captivated me so much,haha,even our view was distracted by the monorail railway,haha,since we stood exactly down the rail,wuahaha...

Pics:

Christmas Trip...

2009-12-25T23:02:00.000-08:00

         Yesterday was 25th December,the day Christian celebrated Christmas,merry Christmas to all Christians,never really celebrate Christmas coz i am not Christian,but hope in the future will get the chance to celebrate it,i wish to get more Christian friends in the future,haha...

   Well,no christmas for us,but we get a christmas shopping in Sg Wang Plaza,mum went there to buy a watch,a Seiko watch,how branded it is i am not sure,but it really costly,if i am not mistaken,it is RM300 plus plus after being discounted by the tauke(he is a friend of my bro),the real price is RM500 plus plus,wow...My bro asked me,do i want 1?i prefer to say no,i prefer RM10 watch for now,haha...He is so much interested in a RM3000 plus watch,omg,Rm3000...But the tauke gave discount to RM1000 plus plus lar...As he said,next time...I was wondering,why people pay so much just for a watch?

   After that,me and my cousin Ivy took the chance to shop,actually Chia also enter the shop,but since it was so crowded,i dn not know how to describe the crowd,you can say you will hard to breathe in there,haha...We end up spent RM107.50 in the shop in total, woman can be scary...see my pic:

haha,we had fashion show in room dat nite..

Well,after that we went to Bukit Tinggi!!!Yeah,it was fun,its my second time went there already,but its my first time go to Colmar Tropicale and Japanese Village.Last time i just went Rabbit Farm,hehe..The weather there,well,maybe because of the global warming,it is not so cold up hill,not as cold as Genting Highlands because it is lower than genting anyway.But when its getting dark,it does get colder,hehe..Since we got there about 4pm already,so not much entertainment events dy,we just get to watch kids played with the performers,those kids so out going,given me 10 years ago,i think i also wont be as dare as them lol...

Pics:

Colmar Tropicale

Japanese Village, but somehow like a tropicana forest more,huhu

the stone path...its cold if u barefooted step on it...

this is special,we took it from a building and zoom down..
erm,its a word from
lovers?

Awal Muharram weekend???

2009-12-21T07:56:00.000-08:00

         What is meant by awal muharram?i asked my family,they said it was about the penghijrahan,hmnnn...it is suppose to be a good thing,so spend money on shopping on the awal muharram holiday is good thing or bad thing?hehe,that what i saw during my half day trip to Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman as my mum and aunt went there for some shoppings,mostly are malays,i keep wondering,malays shop all over the years non stop is it?Even Sogo also full with sea of people,haha,so re nao!!!

           On Friday,i had a whole day nasi kerabu as lunch and also dinner,hehe,very satisfied with it. Saturday we went to Tropicana City Mall to watch movie,well,almost every week i watched movie since i came KL.First week i watched Twilight New Moon,second week i watched Storm Warriors 2,and this week i watched The Princess and The Frog. Well,if given choice,i wont watch it in cinema,but for my cousin Christine,we all did accompany her to watch it. Quite exciting as whole cinema majority are kids under 12,the most incredible is a mum holding a 2 months baby watch the cartoon,haha...

   After the movie,we went to have,ermmm,should i say lunch when it is about 3pm in the evening?hehe...we went to eat korean food,we all so excited to have it even our first plan is japanese sushi,haha..so korean addicted...So we went to this Korean Kimchi Restaurant,so leng qing,beside us,only got a group of customers there.We choose to sit at the special Korean table at the end of the restaurant..Erm..looking at the menu,i was like...erm...do not know what to order,the price was...Gosh...its standard price i guess, hehe...I am more interested in Kimchi Soup,but i think its better if we could order different food,so i order Dolsot Beef Bimbap,i think it is the ban fan that chinese called while watching the korean movie,just like the rice that Rain Bi ate in the Full House drama.The waiter asked me do i know how to eat it,coz it need to be mixed together, since he offered himself,so i just let him do it for me without realizing what he was talking about during the mixing process.After that,my cousins just explained to me,the waiter said,in Korean usually the husband will help wife mix it,but here he will only do it for me..Owh...he got mentioned those thing?I really did not realize it,or should i say i do not really pay attention on what he said?My cousin said so waste he spent those romantic words on me but i did not notice at all,haha,funny...

My good food there:

side dishes

sprite,apple juice,peach shake,Korean green tea,

strawberry shake

Sizzling beef

Kimchi Bokumbab aka

kimchi fried rice

Kimchi Iljikeh

Dwen Jang Iljikeh aka

seafood+tofu soup

Dolsot Beef Bimbab

Weekend Holiday!!!!!!

2009-12-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

God, i am so happy cz i will have a three days weekend since we are celebrating Awal Muharram on 18th December 2009, which is today, haha...I guess that is the special and good thing to be a Malaysian, because we will celebrate a lot of festivals and thats mean more holidays for the community. 1 Malaysia, Long Lived Malaysia!! Yesterday on 17th, Malaysia had won the gold medal for football in SEA Games which is organized in Laos. I am not really a football maniac, but listening to song in other country made me felt so touched deep inside my heart, felt like crying at that time. I think all Malaysians will be so proud with the team because we never won gold medal since 20 years ago, that was really a long period.

Something funny happened at my office today, my senior whom today took over my seat suddenly came to my temporary seat asking me about the info stated in my calendar which i put on the table, guess what, i had the practice which i will note my period date on the calendar so that i can estimate the date for the next month, it happened that he asked me what AV stands for, haha, its , a term used to describe period, God, how should i explain to him? Its damn awkward...

Merry Christmas

2009-12-16T08:34:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas is around the corner and we all can see Santa Claus in town everywhere, that is not weird, the weirdest i saw is a dark skin Santa Claus in Malaysia, haha, i guess only Malaysia have the dark skin Santa Claus...or Africa also have? hehe...wondering...Life in KL during Christmas season is so merrier, especially with the Christmas trees and deer decoration in the huge shopping mall everywhere in KL..Well, where should i go to celebrate Christmas?

Some pics taken:

Practicum....

2009-12-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day of practicum,how i feel? Hehe,i cant really sleep last night actually,i am not really nervous in appearance but it proved when i awake at 2.40am just because i felt like i had been asleep for more than 6 hours and even thought that maybe my alarm clock not working, wuahaha...All are illusions...

Then,taking T632 bus to Universiti LRT Station with payment of RM1, took LRT to KL Sentral with cost of RM1.60,walked to monorail station and paid RM2.10 to Raja Chulan..Well well well,i spent about RM5 already just one way to working place,huhu...Still so nervous, but then when came to company, we are like blur blur just sitting there for i think more than 1 hour. Then our senior there, Mr Weng Kit brought us to introduce to other members of the organization, there are a lot of people while we thought the company was so small, actually there are more space inside, hehe, got fooled..Thanks Weng Kit...

There are four department in the firm actually,audit,tax,account and also company secretary. At first, we were all in audit, but then as they do not need many audir trainee, so me and Chia have to cabut undi kertas to decide who will go to tax. Unfortunately, it was my destiny to be in tax department although i want to stay so much in audit as i hope to learn more from audit. Something so special in the firm is, they still use manual method in most of the audit.

Our audit manager, Mr.Chan talked to us and said that now was not the peak season,so we do not have much work to do. That was why everyone seems like so so tak han like having holiday mood, i guess that was why a lot of audit members taking leave to study ACCA. Mr. Chan gave us some notes on how audit flowcharts at Hals & Associates, the flowcharts seem so complicated to us and made us almost fall asleep,hehe, especially me.. Then Chia and MJ were called to do the `call over`. I am not sure if other company has this, coz it is something new to us. It was like you want to verify the audit report without any spelling or technical mistakes, you will refer to 1 copy while others reading the other copy. If you can imagine, it was like you are reading your textbook during primary school and your teacher was checking your pronounciation, exactly like that,hehe...

Having lunch with seniors there were so fun, if not mistaken, we went to food court in pavillion, nice nasi ayam, almost the same taste as nasi ayam that we had at T`Garden UUM. I do not stay long at audit department as i am transferred to tax department. I learnt how to fill the form, do tax services for company. My first company was Famous Emerald (M) Sdn. Bhd. I also learn how to photostat, haha..it was interesting actually, but i need explore more. Thanks to Ms. Lim, Kak Linda, Kak Liyana, Kak Azean and also Iza for they big help.

It was at 5.40pm when i was like daydreaming at my desk when Ms. Lim came to me and told me that i can go back already. Took all my things but realize Mr. Chan havent finished his briefing to other audit trainees, wonder what he told them...

Tiday also the first time i spent only 1 hour to do shopping in Times Square,haha...Well,reach home at bout 8.30pm, but i think i can reach earlier in the future, hehe.. I know wanna take what bus already mar...

People...

2009-11-14T02:43:00.000-08:00

This few years, i'm getting interested observing people..
Sitting there down the streets, watching cars and people walking down the streets
Curiousity in mind, i wonder what was they thinking at that moment,this moment?
How was their life?
Happy?Sad?Cruel?Pathetic?Fun?
How they value their life?
People growing up coz we are in going through the life cycle..
Fall in love with someone who's not into you..
Is it happiness or sadness?
Leaving life with regrets or no regrets?
Which one will you choose?
People that you've seen once maybe the most important person in your life..
Afraid of getting hurt so you choose to keep distance from others..
Afraid of the pain so you are not dare to love..
Bear in mind..
Getting hurt before din mean you will always get hurt..
Because i believe that you will have a beautiful days in the future..

2 papers finished...

2009-11-14T02:31:00.000-08:00

First strategic management paper was like a disaster to me,well,i guess all was a disaster to me, but then coming to second paper which i just went through today,i was thinking,how an accounting student will ever forgot the most basic accounting equation?Well,that was me,blur me..and always me..What's so funny was,i cannot sleep whole night,i think the reason was not because i'm nervous with the exam,but because this few days we were having day and night turns upside down,hehe,sleep at 6 something in the morning and wake up at 2pm,hoho...that was the reason i slept only at 6.30am and awake at 7.30am this morning..for your info,i had exam at 9am,BKAF 3123..My looks getting worse,i think i found more wrinkles on my face, wuahaha...

Parents...

2009-10-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

Parents can be anyone,not just your mum and your dad,but also your grandparents.I'm relieved that even i lost my dad as they got divorced,i still have my grandparents,my mum,my uncles and aunties,my two brothers,my cousins and relatives who always be there whenever i need help. I realized that as i'm growing up without dad,their love for me are more than to others in the family,i sometimes bring trouble to them,but they do not even feel burden,or maybe they did but they just do not show to me..

I'm glad that i'm born to the New and Teyun family,i thank God for letting me born into the family,where i found love and care..My friend once told me,he's so jealous to see the harmonization and relationship between my family members as he do not have it in his family. I guess every family has their own way to communicate with each other,but 1 thing for sure,there's love in the family,it's just on the way how they show it..

I'm proud to be New and Teyun..

Tears...

2009-10-17T05:09:00.000-07:00

I've never cried for quite some time already,i forgot when was the last time i cried..But yesterday,i really had a bad day,i'm not sure what was the main reason i cried but i guess it's all accumulated one,that's why i cannot hold the tears anymore..When my junior accusing me,i started to sob in the Petro lab,i had flu since last week and when i start sobbing,the mucus stucked in my nose,i felt like dying because i can't breathe well..

Having depression continuously,i came back to my silent room as my roommate going out,i sat on my bed and suddenly my tears fall down for no reason..it's been quite some time before i stopped crying..

Today i watched a video of Brian Joo (former Fly To The Sky member) stating about the relationship between him and Hwanhee (Fany),on how they became distant as they had some misunderstanding caused by the people around them and how he ever thought of committing suicide during that time. But after some time they get to realize they need to believe each other instead of believing others.

Depression sometimes will make people think of committing suicide,there's once time during my youngsters,i thought of committing suicide,i don't really remember what was happening at that time and the reason why i would ever think of that,but i'm glad i've gone through that horrible time,i'm glad that i'm a person that scare of pain as i will never cut myself or jump off the building..

I'm glad i'm alive!!!!!

Birthdays...

2009-10-16T00:39:00.000-07:00

Haha,so happy because this year i had celebrated my birthday three times, huhu, making me old three years,haiyo...Thanks to my fellow friends as well as my Beiwu juniors for those surprise but meaningful moments i had.For those friends that celebrated it twice with me,i really appreciate your spending time with me..In th coming years,maybe i will celebrate with others and you guys also will have new group of friends,but i will always remember those memorable moments we had together...

Thanks...

BEIWU....How???

2009-10-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to settle beiwu problems..we just had two more practices to go and all like having the worse days for it. My junior like blaming me for cannot give commitment to beiwu anymore.I'm trying to do my best now but i really don't know what's the best for them now.He even say if i want to abandon beiwu also nevermind,what bullshit was he saying,i love beiwu more than them because i've been growing up with beiwu in UUM. It's just that i cannot be a good leader,i wish i can lead them well.it's not just about confidence or not,havng faith or not,it's about giving the right direction to them.I don't want to teach somethings that i'm not sure with, it's legally wrong.. Ask me to go stricter so that i can control them,can anyone tell me,have i ever be strict or serious all this time?Beiwu shold be a place that i found my happiness,freedom,not a stressing place,but now it looks like that for me le...

I never give up of beiwu,if i did,i already don't care much bout it since past few years..

Happiness...Sadness...

2009-10-15T23:24:00.000-07:00

I'll be graduating soon in one more month and so many things happened in my life. I realize one big weakness of me,i was like always blaming others and relied on others on something that i cannot do. Some times i really hate myself for who i am today,hate it,hate it...

My friend told me about how stressful she was when she was threatened by the miscalls and message,all i can do is telling her,"don't worry,it will be fine,do not mind so much lar",all of this bullshit useless advices which she don't want even hear...the reason was because i'm not the person involved,i'm not talking from her place,i'm just someone that not related to it,so i say things easily...Damn it,i hate myself..

My the other friend so stress when she had to control herself as i ask her to do like that when confronting the other friend,she told me how stress she was and all i can do was just saying those stupid words that i always said...If only i had a better win-win solution for all the problems they are facing...

MISC performance

2009-10-13T20:59:00.001-07:00

Har...talking about my performance in Dewan Mas for MISC DPP Annual Dinner last week on 7th October,it was a performance that i've been waiting for quite some time because it a big hall and i can golek golek freely on it,haha, some more a yi said i've improved while i'm turning round and round for the circle. But what happened was over my expectation,we've been told by the stage ajk to be prepared posing when they carry up the slide show board,but then since they do not have good link with the protocol and also the mc,we've been posing there for more than 5 minutes and the mc still like did not realized that we already on the stage. She was still having her own speech syok sendiri down there and we were just like stupid idiot monkey posing on the stage,letting people to laugh at us. My friend asked me to control my madness and don't talk..i'm getting stress there already..Ok,then after a while when she finally announced us,they even use wrong song or maybe technical problem?I don't care because we've been using the same song for rehearsal and now got problem?Funny...Still they blame us said cd rosak,go to hell lar...

A Yi Leaving Us...

2009-10-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

For real,she left us forever,i've started to miss her so much..She's been there whenever we need her all this time,at least for the last more than 1 year,she's always there..Now she's not here anymore,i'm not so sure how we gonna live,ya,we can survive but it won't be the same anymore..

Beiwu without a yi,how it will be?

Stupid me and Mei Juan...

2009-10-10T00:20:00.000-07:00

Today in lab,MJ sit beside me while online..She asked me to watch a horror video in facebook uploaded by her friend i think..She cubitting me now as she don't want me to ngumpat her in my blog..It's a Japan video clip about a group of guys who went to a gathering and saw a very pale look pretty girl,God,she's damnly pale,like a ghost...

The amazing part was she waves to them opposite of the train station,erm...it's like LRT station in Malaysia..After waving to them,she suddenly jump off to the railway,whua....Then don't know what happen,as we both are too scared,we ask other friend,Poh Choo to help us watch the ending of the clip. Unfortunately,as the pc in lab do not have good quality(the screen so yellow and dark), we can't really see it. but Poh Choo said she thinks it's the girl face on the railway,WHUA....

End up,me and Mei Juan so scared and Poh Choo said, " looks fake,like created one", haha...Are we stupid?

Happy Birthday To Me...

2009-10-06T00:08:00.000-07:00

Haha, sometimes really had to wish myself so that i realize that i'm getting old..being 22 years old this year means...I'm really getting old,haha,well,old is not the problem,what's important is to wonder whether i've live my life well or not all these times..I'm quite satisfied with my life,i mean i'm very satisfied.I have my family,relatives,whole villagers and a group of friends who love and care for me so much..Wats more should i ask for?

Thank God let me born to this world,this place,this family...Thanks to my mum because she carried me for 9 months,taking care of me for 22 years,always there for me whenever i need her..Perfect mum i ever had,i think there's people out there will jealous because i have a perfect family. Being brought up in single parent family not easy,but being in my family gives me the strength..At least i knew that i will never be alone, God damn it,i hate to be alone...

Future will be a better place to be lived,i always hope for world peace...

My horoscope said:

LIBRA (The Lame One) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you wanna mess with.... You might end up crying ...

Hahaha...i remembered my friend who always argued with me and he said he's so frustrated whenever having a quarrel with me...God bless him...

Lately i kept writing those memorable paper,not sure what people called it, but we all received it from so many people lar..stressing but i still give commitment to write it actual from bottom of my heart..my friend even asked me whether i'm Christian as the way i wrote sounds like it came from Bible, haha...

My Beiwu Performance...

2009-10-04T20:37:00.000-07:00

I had a busy weekend last week since i have two performances continuous for two nights and also one presentation on Saturday morning. But i'm glad i'd passed those tiring days,still i have one more performance on 7th october,this wednesday night. I felt like i never had a long period of relaxing since i came back from Raya holiday,indeed i'm getting more busy..Well,after 8th October thing will gets better because i will submit my fnal assignment on that day,then free!!!

While i'm writing this, the rains kept flowing,it's been a few days already that it keeps raining almost everyday. Not sure it's good or not,but very pity for those having convocation,raining made me feel wet and as the result,i feel like wanna lock myself in the room under, wrap myself with blanket,haha..

It's not a good sign for raining now,maybe it's really the sign of end of the world. Lately there's earthquake in Sumatera and also tsunami,haih..worl never peace as natural disaster and wars are everywhere. I'm glad i'm Malaysian,,at least no wars and natural disaster even we had political wars and crimes that never will finish even till the day i die i guess...

Human nature...

Beiwu Training..

2009-09-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Coming back earlier from my Raya holiday for beiwu training is amazing,well,i guess there's a lot of first time me and Chia were getting through..The funny thing was,it was not our first time taking bus to UUM,but it's happened that we took the wrong bus at the beginning and even sat the wrong seats,haha...I wonder why we were so careless that day. Reaching Shahab Perdana at 5am, we've waited one and half hour for the Mara bus to start its journey to UUM. As the result,we reached UUM at 7 something and just can have a little rest before the dance training.

I told my friends that i dreamt of A Kong had his hair cut, eventually it really did happened, he really cut his hair,haha.. But he looks much slimmer than one year ago,making me look much more healthier,i mean in term of fat,haha... Well,starting it like a stressful training,but when we are able to cope with the steps and also rhythm, it such a fun things to be learnt actually, and now i'm sad because i'm not able to perform it on stage as i'll graduate soon.

Saturday night was happening for us because we had our Beiwu gathering plus our sem 7 farewell party in Kuala Perlis. In the midst of the happiness,i cannot keep my sadness as my other friend,Siao Ping cannot made it there as she's having family problem and back to home earlier.Wish you were there gal..

This beiwu training is such a once in the life time because we gathered about 9 generation of seniors and juniors. It such a spectacular view to watch all of us dancing and having fun no matter you are juniors or seniors,i guess the bond that we are having now is the most precious thing that one will never get in other place.I hope the bond that we tied will never loose the tie even time goes by...

For me,beiwu is a part of my life,a part of my memories,a part of my campus life..I've learned so many there,i met so many beautiful people there. I love you guys,all seniors and juniors...

Beiwu Beiwu Beiwu Jia You!

Raya Holiday...

2009-09-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

It's raya holiday break,yeah!!! Erm...i mean it's break again,don't know what happen this sem,we kept having break,i mean it's special case when we had that H1N1 break last time,hehe..Not to mention my Johor friend who had her own personal break so many times that i think it's approximately half of the semester she was just having break,i really respect her for that.

Talking about my raya break,i really never thought my strategic management lecturer will cancel his class because he's an Indian,
ok,i know we are talking about 1 Malaysia in community now,ok,i accept that but he suppose to tell earlier so that i can buy ticket earlier what..Now i have to stuck in UUM 3 days because my class all cancel already,haha,i just love UUM so much...

One Night Stand....

2009-09-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

One night stand...beautiful topic that i had with my guy friend yesterday,i guess he just so so boring that he ever felt like wanna have it at least once,so cute...

Question?one night stand should be done with strangers or someone you know? If i to choose, i will choose strangers,omg,can u imagine waking up and seeing your friend(maybe close friend or not so close friend) sleeping just beside you,on your bed or his bed or maybe hotel bed,both in naked?haha....it's more than what you can imagine,it's damnly awkward. Ok,not to mention he has a nice body or not lar, he's your friend,come on!!! I'll break the friendship i guess, or not meeting him for bout more than 3 years?hahaha.... BUt there's something more important,if i choose strangers,how do i confirm that he is wealthy? Well,i mean no Aids of course,hehe...

So hard right? I guess i will always respect the person that having one night stand before...

Assignments...Presentation...

2009-09-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Huhu,i'm excited that i will leave UUM soon,but before that day to reaaly comes,i still have so so many of assignments to be done. I jz take 4 subjects this semester and 3 of them need to do assignments and also presentation,what a world..God bless me,so that i can make it through...

Final Sem in UUM...

2009-09-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

There are less than 3 months from the day that i will leave UUM after i've been stucked here for more than 3 years. 3 years,it's not a long period but it's not a short period also,at least not for my first year in UUM which i found the days were hard to be gone through,haha,just like what my sem 1 juniors felt now. She always mentioned,"you guys so shuang lar,will graduate soon,haih,4 years very long...", yea,4 years quite a long time,but you will never realize how times goes by when you are busy with assignments,quizzes,exams,activities,trips,ko-k,tutorials,whats the most fun things were the moments you spent with your fellow friends.

I guess that will the most valuable memories that i had in UUM. The moment i spent with you all while having discussion groups, the moment in class,the joyful that we shared together,the moment we eat and play and sleep together,the moment we spent while doing college projects,the moment we went for trips in Langkawi, Genting,Penang and so on,the moment we celebrated other's birthdays, the moment we spent our nights till almost dawn just to watch dramas,movies and whatsoever shows,the moment we burnt the midnight oils because it's the study week before the final exam..I maybe had left some of the memories,but i will never forget that i have made so many beautiful memories and having such a group of nice friends ever during my uni life.

Uni life full of memories,no matter it is nice or not nice,it is one place that you will always remember for your whole life,UUM taught me a lot,gave me knowledge, gave me chances to know a lot of friends.

No matter what happen in the future,no matter how far you guys go,i will always pray for your happiness,i'll be everywhere and anytime available if you need help, i hope we will not lost contact,take care always,i love you guys...

LoVE......

2009-04-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
不论做什么事情，只要能一起，就是好的，
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点，
於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气，与其到处去捡未知的石头，还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨，你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为是因为感情淡了，所以人才会变得懒惰。错！
其实是人先被惰性征服，所以感情才会变淡的。

*在某个聚餐的场合,有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好，
这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！
现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！

*听到了吗？明白了吗？
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都懒得讲话、懒得倾听, 懒得制造惊喜、懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间，又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？
所以请记住：有活力的爱情，是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，
谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了,
当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，
他的男朋友很不高兴的说：你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了，我以後再也不会等你了！刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，
她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境；
女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！接著他为女孩拭去上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上，
此刻，女孩流泪了,但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。
你体会到了吗？*其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！
爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。那并不代表你会选择他。

*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！他或许已经等你很久喽！

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

*所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。那就糟糕了！

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：
爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

practicum!!!!!!!

2009-03-28T06:03:00.000-07:00

Die die die,keep on dying because i haven't receive any call from audit firm calling me to go for an interview,of course lar i hope i don't have to go kl now,but i'm worry because lots of my friend already found their place and me?i look like a penganggur that kept sending resume and application letter to a lot of firm but receive none,the feeling damn sucks...i hope i find one soon, but well,it's not that easy right?have to think about transport,expenses and lots more, eventhough i'll be staying with my brother,but i found that the firm that maybe interested to hire me is quite far from his house,so how should i deal with that?1 word for all,headache!!!

Happy Birthday Sook Ling!!!

2009-03-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

20th of March which is tomorrow was the twenty second years my best friend being born to this world,ops,i accidentally disclose your age already,sorry yea dear,hehe...Anyway,hereby i wish you a very happy birthday,hope you happy always,smile always because you looked the best when you smile,you know you smile is super killer mar,hehe...what else,erm...of course may your dreams come true,no matter how many dreams you have,i really hope all of them will become reality,not just a dream.. This evening bee sian messaged me,told me that tomorrow will be your birtday,i told her something..i said,"why don't we go to Shah Alam give her a birthday surprise?",who knows she reply me,"sumbat lar u",huhu...ha3,maybe i'm not able to do that now,but i really thought of that at that moment,sound stupid hor?1 day maybe i will do that,i always hope that i'll be with you whenever you need me and of course can't miss your birthday...

I miss you so much!!! God bless you!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

What should you do when your friend angry?

2009-03-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

1 thing you should always keep in mind is...do not ever say something that will hurt your friends, don't ever because the consequences are something that you cannot bear for the rest of your life..i've done wrong,i made mistakes,i apologized,but it will never cover back the pain that i had done,so the apologize meant nothing at all already,but i still apologize because i don't know what else to do except for that..how angry he was?definitely cannot describe by words...how sad i am?i cried once when i thought of he cannot forgive me..how important friend he is?as important as any of my friends,anyone that become my friend once,they will always be my friend and of course i don't want to lose a friend..i'm losing one?maybe....

PKU...

2009-03-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

PKU stands for Pusat Kesihatan Universiti,haha,wats so funny is today is the first time i ever go there taking a treatment in this 3 years,so should i say that i always healthy all this time?hehe, over proud of myself,but i really wanna laugh when the doctor checked my medical resord and saw none of mine,then she asked me,"you never come before?",yea,i never go there before because i think it's too far,i hate ma fan lar actually,hehe..Today is special case,because of my toothache last week lar,so i went there for checking,who knows she just said i don't have any symptoms,she just gave me 3 types of medicine and ask me to go again after 2 weeks to have a X-ray,huhu,it's sounds scary and serious actually but mum said it's good lar they wanna check in details.. Well,since i'm there already and i don't have class,so i went to see doctor,i got stomachache last two nights,the doctor said maybe it's gastrick,so gave me gastric medicine..I really impressed by the politeness of PKU's staff,especially the doctors and dentist,they were so nice,hehe...

Toothache..

2009-03-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

I got toothache starting from last two nights,don't know what happened made me suddenly feel pain,i wonder is it because i ate too much sweet things all this while,don't know lar,all i know is it damn hurt..every night i lie on bed,cannot do anything,cannot study,cannot sleep,all i can do was just eating pills and drinking mineral water that caused me go to toilet every half hours..i'm wondering,will i suddenly die unconciously because taking overdosed of pills?huhu...sometimes when it's too painful,i really thought of wanna die,easier...what a short-minded people hor?i owe my life to my mum,so unless God takes it away from me,other than that,i won't die easily no matter how tough life is..Love you,mum!!!

boys over flowers...

2009-03-03T19:09:00.001-08:00

Lately i fall into the "meteor garden" korean version, well,i really have to admit the main reason i watch it because the F4 are very handsome guys,all i can say is all of them more leng chai compared to the Taiwan version and Japan version,hehe,sorry Vic Chou,even i love you so much,but i still prefer handsome guys,hahaha...

What i can say is,Goo Joon Pyo looked very alike with Dao Ming Shi the Taiwan version, anyone that haven't watch it should go watch,then you will understand why i said like that,from some aspects,especially from side capture,both of them really look alike,but Goo Joon Pyo more handsome,hahaha..Of course my beautiful Hua Ze Lei,Yoon Ji Hoo in Korean,the Kim Hyun Joong acts look so beautiful as always,hehe,especially in Episode 15 when he cut his hair,made him look more manlihood. I remember the scene where he suddenly open the toilet door and saw Jan Di was sitting on the toilet seat,haha,i can't imagine if that happen to me,that would be very embarassing,the most

embarrassing moment ever i guess.

Anyway,can't forget about Kim Bum as Xi Men,nevertheless,they found a very cute Xi Men for

Korean version,he's only 20,haih..why i'm 22 already?suddenly felt like i'm starting to get old.

I remember Kim Bum in the Princess Battle that my cousin,Lene showed to me lasy year i guess,he was asked to sit on the chair at the middle of the stage and every leader of girls group singer were asked to dance in front of him,i still remember how shy he was and most important is,he's blushing,haha,so cute..i love to see guys blushed,that make them look cute,hehe..

Their Impression to each Other

The cast Lee Min Ho, Kim Hyun Joong, Kim Bum and Kim Joon talk about their first impression of one another on ‘F4 Special Talk Show’ aired on 2nd March.
Kim Hyun Joong, “I first saw Lee Min Ho in the movie ‘Public Enemy Returns’ awhile back and he was remembered as ‘the child who died after being pierced by the knife’ in my head. It is a strange feeling.”
“And Kim Bum, I saw him in ‘East of Eden’ and he was remembered as ‘the child who can do crying scenes very well’. Very amazing. And Kim Joon, I met him for the first time during the filming of Boys Over Flowers.”
Kim Joon, “I was introduced to Lee Min Ho during my audition, it was an unofficial one. Because back then we don’t know each other, I thought, “what’s wrong with this friend, his hair’s curly”. He was tall and has a fierce glare, it was afterwards when I realised he was the ‘Goo Joon Pyo’ of F4.”
“Because of his height, he seemed a little imprudent. But in the show, the smiles of Joon Pyo are mostly his actual smile. He is quite a pure youth.”
Kim Hyun Joong also revealed, “Some of the image I portray in the show, I had thought they were irrelevant in real life. Ji Hoo is the atmosphere maker who is always so witty and fast with his words. He is one who will charm in just one shot.”
“Kim Bum, even though he is younger, he is much more matured. I have received a lot of help about acting from him too.”
Lee Min Ho spoke about Kim Joon, “Kim Joon, like Sung WooBin in the show, is peace-maker/trouble-solver in real life. He knows how to control the situation well.”
Kim Hyun Joong also added to that, “He has a swindler nature in him too. He can win all the time even if he don’t know he may not actually be able be expert in games and stuff.”
Meanwhle, Goo Hye Sun could not appear for the special talk show because of the accident she got into on 27th February.
Kim Hyun Joong, “Goo Hye Sun cannot join us for the talk show because of the accident. Even though it is a shame she cannot join us, we thought it is more important to put health before anything first for an actor.”

My Forensic Accounting..

2009-03-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

i need to submit my project of forensic accounting paper on 12th March next week,the worse is i cannot figure out what Puan Adura want actually,i'm damn scared that i will do wrong again, haih..since last few assignments we did not achieve her target at all,then she just mentioned,"none of you can become the forensic accountant",hehe...Maybe people think she's a killer,but i just think that she really hope we can do the best,that's why she didn't give marks and information easily. She hope to let us experience by now on how the real picture of society is about,but people just cannot understand her hardship. Maybe i praise her now,but after i got my bad result,i will complain again,haha,i won't i think because i already expect that i won't get good result for forensic accounting..I'm a negative person sometimes,i prefer to think for the worse compared to being hurt and disappointed in the future.

Assignments...

2009-02-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

This few weeks,i'm so busy with my lots of assignments and exam is getting the way,oh my God,it;s next week but i haven't read anything yet.
Yesterday,there was a girl,my junior called me asking whether i can perform for their project on 4th March 2009,all i can do is apologise to her because i'm damn busy this week. Pity to her but i really cannot help her,not in the mood,no time for them also,i even do not have enough sleep for some days already,huhu,my mei rong jiao...

My First Blog

2009-02-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have seen my friends and cousin doing this before,so i thought i want to have a try,i've been writing in the friendster blog all this time,so it is the first time for blogger,i really hope i can share something interesting that happened in my life to everyone..i hope everyone also find their own happiness,no matter now or in the future..nothing is impossible,we can be happy if we want,but must work for it,life must be positive,love what you had,you will be happy if you know how to appreciate what you have,that is the basic knowledge to be happy..so,remember to smile and thank everyone in your life..love them..